Monthly Archives: ಏಪ್ರಿಲ್ 2011

CID : The case of the mysterious blood – Part 2

(..continued from CID : Part 1)

Abhijeet : Sir, maine pata kar liya hai. Is shahar mein, is tarah ke DNA waale suvar, ek IT park ke aas paas ke ilaake mein milte hain.

Daya : Ek aur baat pata chala hai sir. Is prajaati ke suvar paanch-dus generation se usi ilaake mein reh rahe hain. Wahaan kuch zyaada khana nahi milta. Is liye woh sirf carbon paper, newspaper etc khaane ke liye adapt ho gaye hain.

Fredricks : Haan sir. Maine aisi baat Discovery channel pe bhi dekhi thi!

ACP : IT park?! Kuch to gadbad hai Daya, Kuch to gadbad hai.. Pata lagao us ladki ka pati kya kaam karta tha.. Mujhe lagta hai wo ek kasai tha.. aur suvar ko jaan se marna uska roz ka kaam tha.. par woh IT park waale suvar ko hi kyun maarne laga?

Daya finds out that the Lady’s husband is a Software Engineer working in the same IT park!!

Daya : Sir woh to kasai nahi, Software engineer nikla!

Abhijeet : Daya, aaj kal kasai bhi Software Engineer ban ne lage hain..

ACP : Are wah! Ab kuch samajh mein aa raha hai.. Shaayad us Engineer ko suvar khaane ka bahut shauk tha. Isi liye, mauka dekhte hi, usne apne hi office ke nazdeek waale suvar ka kidnap karke, usko jaan se maar di!

Fredricks : Sir, par suvar to har hotel main milta hai.. Aur agar wahi baat thi, to ab tak woh Engineer gumshuda nahi hota..

ACP : Fredricks, kabhi kabhi tum bhi akal ki baat karte ho..

Daya : Sir, mujhe lagta hai, woh suvar, is Engineer ke baare mein kuch raaz ki baat jaanta tha..

Abhijeet : Daya, abhi thodi der pehle tumne kaha ki suvar sirf paper khaata tha? Main samajh gaya sir.. Us Engineer ke paas uch aisa confidential paper tha, jo kisiko pata nahi chalna chahiye tha…

ACP : …aur woh paper galti se kachre mein chala gaya, jise suvar ne kha liya. Jab ise pata chala ki woh paper, suvar ke pet main hai, to usne suvar ka khoon karke paper nikaal liya, par khoon ko pochna bhool gaya!!

ACP : Daya, Mujrim chahe kitna bhi shaatir ho, ek na ek suraag zaroor chod jaata hai..

Fredricks : Kya baat hai Abhijeet! Tumhe to medal milna chahiye..

ACP : Mazak band karo! Daya, us IT company mein jaake us Engineer ka golmal pata lagao.. humare paas waqt bahut kam hai! Episode khatam hone ko bahut kam time hai.. Abhijeet tum us suvar ke laash ka pata lagao.. mujrim ko pakadne ke liye saboot to chahiye!

Abhijeet successfully finds the dead body in the municipality garbage and Daya comes running to ACP.

Daya : Sir, maine us Engineer ka Computer, Hard disk, mouse, mouse pad, keyboard, printer aur monitor seize kar liya hai.. Usne apni company ka lakhonka gafla iya hai sir. Sabhi details is pen drive mein hai sir..

ACP : Abhijeet, us pen drive ko lagao.. Abhi doodh ka doodh aur pani ka pani ho jayega! (looking at monitor) Are, yeh to bahut baDa fraud lagta hai..

Fredricks : Lagta hai hum sabki increment pakki..

Abhijeet : Ab sirf us qaatil ko dhoondna baaki hai sir.. Daya, chalo us ghar ke watchman se ugalwaate hain..

The troop goes to watchman of the house.

ACP : Batao, woh khooni kahaan hai?

Watchman : Main kuch nahi jaanta saab..

Abhjeet : Yeh aise nahi maanega.. Jab Daya ka haath padta hai toh muh se piano bajne lagta hai. Kya?

Daya gives a tight slap and watchman reveals the truth and Engineer is caught.

ACP(to culprit) : Sharam nahi aati tujhe, ek naadaan suvar ko maar diya.. tumhe to fansi honi chahiye.. ab sadte rahena jail me.. fansi ka order aane tak!

And yet another case solved successfully by the Great CID!!

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CID : The case of the mysterious blood – Part 1

There were times when I used to enjoy every single thing shown on TV with great enthusiasm. Be it comedy, drama, horror, cartoon or even DD News! I used to desperately wait for episodes of some of the serials like Suraag, Aahat, CID, Shaktimaan and others which appears ridiculous now. Although most of these soaps are stopped now, I still enjoy watching CID once in a while, which the Sony TV telecasts sincerely twice in a day, each of 12 hours(Infact Sony TV can be renamed as CID TV). It is the longest running investigative serial in India running for almost a decade. All of the investigators have become a household name now. Watching the way they investigate, with their all-famous dialogues, I felt even I could contribute an episode for them! Here it is.

(The scene begins with Fredricks cracking his nonsense jokes and ACP Pradyuman looking all serious, waiting for their next case to come and others enjoying their free time)

(The cell phone rings)

ACP(on phone) : Hello, kaun baat kar raha hai? kya baat hai?

Lady(on phone) : Sir yahaan ek khoon hua hai!

ACP(on phone) : tum wahi ruko hum abhi aate hain.

ACP : Abhijeet, Daya, fauran chalo. Kisika khoon hua hai.

As usual, ACP with all his super powers knows where the call has come from. The entire team reaches the spot within a commercial break. They enter the house and see a pool of blood on the floor.

ACP : Daya, yeh khoon ka sample forensic lab ko DNA testing ke liye bhej do aur pata lagao kiska khoon hai.. Abhijeet, Fredricks, dhundo dhundo …sare jagah ko achhi tarh se check karo…koi na koi sabut milega hi…criminal kitana bhi chaalaak ho lekin ek to galti karta hi he.. (to lady) Kiska khoon hua hai? Lash kahan hai?

Lady : Pata nahi sir. Jab mein aayi to khoon dekh ke ghabra gai aur aapko phone kiya!

Fredricks : Pata nahi?!! Hum kya aapko Blood bank waale dikhte hain jo aap blood donate karne ke liye bulaaya?

Abhijeet : Freddy, jaane do. woh bechaari sadme mein hain. (to ACP)Sir, mujhe lagta hai, iske pati ka khoon hua hai aur iske boyfriend ne karvaya hai. Aapko kya lagta hai?

ACP : Abhijeet, abhi tak to laash bhi nahi mila hai! har case ek tarah nahi hota! Har episode mein kuch naya hona padta hai! kuch samajh me nahi aa raha… ab to khoon se hi puchhna padega… chalo Dr. Salunke ke paas chalte hain… vahi pata chalega ki hua kya tha..

ACP : Dr.Salunkhe kya kehta hai yeh khoon? zara hamein bhi to batayiye..

Dr. Salunke : Boss! Shaayad aapka shak galat nikla! Yeh to kisi jaanwar ka khoon hai, lagta hai kisi desi suvar ki hai. Ab agar us ladki ke pati ka DNA sample mil jaaye to match karke dekh sakte hain.

Daya : Sir, par uska pati to lapata hai..

ACP : Ab kya karen? Yeh case to ulajhta hi ja raha hai..

Abhijeet : Sir, ek kaam kar sakte hain. Hum us ladki se puchte hain ki, kya uska pati jaanwar tha?

Abhijeet queries the lady and is surprised to find out that the lady’s husband is in fact human! ACP calls for a meeting in his chamber about the proceedings of the case.

ACP : Mujhe ek baat samajhme nahi aa rahi.. ki.. us suvar ka khoon uske ghar mein kyun aaya? aur kaise?

Daya : Sir, mujhe lagta hai, us ladki ke pati se iska kuch connection hai. Kyunki jabse khoon mila hai, woh lapata hai.

ACP : Abhijeet, is shahar ka chappa chappa chan maro. Pata lagao, is shahar mein aise kitne suvar hain jinka blood group us sample se match hota hai.

Abhijeet : Yes sir.

ACP : Woh suvar kuch aisa jaanta tha, jiske wajah se khooni ko use maarne par majboor kar diya. Woh suvar aisa kya jaanta tha??

(continued on CID : Part 2..)

Originality of thought

Thought can be plainly interpreted as something which keeps the mind busy. The mystery of how the thought originates and how it branches out is next to impossible. I was always perplexed when someone appealed me to think originally. I kept thinking what this original thinking meant. I felt nothing was original because all that we think is the result of what is possible to think, which implies somebody else has already thought it. So what does it mean? Does it mean, to purposefully think about something, which we presume, no one else in the history of mankind has ever thought? If that is the case, I’m not happy even if I do it; because, in such a case, we concentrate more on being the first rather than actually thinking!

One thing is quite straightforward: Every logical thought process is based on the knowledge base we have accumulated over years; either in conformation to it or as a result of our imagination, which is in contradiction to it, or somewhere in the gray area between the two. By imagination, what I mean is the conscious effort NOT to be unimaginative. Another interesting observation i found was: Every thought has an object associated with an emotion. Even the mere imagination of any abstract emotion, brings a picture of an object or an incident which gives a ‘definition’ to that emotion. Thus every emotion, intelligence, creativity etc. is a product of a purposeful variation or tampering of our experiences or our inferences out of them. So, the whole lot of so-called being original is nothing but a limited aberration of our logical sense. In my opinion, it is wrong to call this slight deviation from logic as originality. It is just application of our prior experience of comparing the present results with previous facts and modifying them to suit our needs, as we’ve always been doing.

Originality is something which is beyond thought, because thought is limited by our prior knowledge. Hence, even imagination is limited, since it is a product of thought. So, originality must be something beyond our will and perseverance. It is like a flash of lightning that suddenly appears. We reason it out later to fit our rules. Consider a scientist who has done years of research and produced some original work. Such a work essentially revolves around a new idea or solution. If we ask him, if he already knew the time at which this new idea would occur to him, he would say no. At some exact moment a thought strikes his mind and it becomes original. I think that is the reason that, in ancient times, people would attribute something incomprehensible such as a miracle to be the reason behind it.

The Sandwich Number

I came across this interesting fact while browsing one of the mathematical books. It is the sandwich number as termed by Fermat. A sandwich number is one, which is the only number which lies in between a perfect-square and a perfect-cube. One example of it is the number 26. It lies between 25(which is 5 squared) and 27(which is 3 cubed). The astonishing thing proposed by Fermat was 26 is the ONLY sandwich number!! And he even put forward a proof in his usual style(scribbling in margins).

Although this fact appears simple, the proof might either be much complicated or a tricky one, as is the case with many number theory problems. If anyone comes across a proof to this problem, please enlighten me!

The 3 input AND gate

I’d come across this tricky question at one of the interviews. Here’s it.

Q : In how many ways can you realize a 3-input AND gate using 2-input AND gates?

A : The answer is obviously 2 ways as shown below.

Q : Now, you are given a “Black Box” of 3 input AND gate and the method of realization used internally is unknown. How can you determine the internal composition used?

A : The only instinctive hint is the delay caused for change in input to reflect at the output. Here’s how:

Step 1: Set all inputs to ‘1’ so that output is ‘1’. Now, change input A to ‘0’.

Step 2: Again set all inputs to ‘1’ so that output is ‘1’. Now, change input B to ‘0’.

Step 3: Again set all inputs to ‘1’ so that output is ‘1’. Now, change input C to ‘0’.

Observe the output waveforms of the above 3 cases. If the timing at which the output state changes from ‘1’ to ‘0’ in all the waveforms is same, then the second structure is used; because, second structure needs 2 gate delays for change at output in all above cases. If in one of the waveforms, the change in state from ‘1’ to ‘0’ at output occurs earlier, compared to waveforms of other 2 cases, then, first structure is used.

The Coolness Guide

At one stage or the other, every civilized teenager faces this harsh reality where his fellow mates ridicule him for his not-so-cool behavior. The burning question that haunts these young souls is “How can I be cool?”

I’ve taken it as my personal responsibility to guide these coolness-seekers to achieve a high coolness index. Here I propose some of the basic rules and strategies which will guide you to a point where your friends comment on you, behind your back in low tone – “Cool!!”

1. Invariably use the sacred words like dude, bullshit (or even shit is acceptable), WTF!!, buddy etc. atleast once in every 2-3 sentences you speak. You can’t remain in peace by rehearsing these words and just using them. You’ll be kicked out the race even before you notice. You need to update yourself with the new words before they become accessible to nerds. Here are some tips to help you:

– Try to make someone studying in US as your online friend and keep chatting with them. Note down any new phrase and rehearse it. Understanding its usage is strictly prohibited. The more you ignore its meaning, higher will be your index.

– Subscribe to  http://www.urbandictionary.com/ and browse for new words. This is one great site which is doing yeoman service towards saving humanity from pointless simplicity.

–  Keenly notice your conversation with your cooler friends. If you find some word or phrase amusing, do NOT do the mistake of asking them. That will decrease your coolness level. Try to act as if you’d been using that since your KG.

2. Another measure of your coolness is the number of ‘friends’ you have in FB. Hence the ancient coolness gurus used to advice: “Have online account of yours in each and every social networking site. It doesn’t matter whether need them or not.” But the times have changed. After rigorous investigation and hardwork I’ve drawn an important conclusion: In earlier times Orkut was a mandatory requirement. But later FB caught up pace and a major drift of users was seen from Orkut to FB. I’ve termed this phenomenon as “The Great Drift“. Further I’ve put forward a theory  which states, “Every 3.75 years, the number of social networking sites increase 1.7 fold times and The Great Drift occurs”. The bottom line is, maintaining an account in Orkut even when FB is the Order of the day is considered less cooler. So, don’t keep a trace that you ever had an account,in networks which get older.

3. This one is a subtle but important point on your dressing. The first impression people get on seeing you plays a major role on your coolness index. Here are some tips:

– Do not apply traditional hair oil like parachute, such that it drips onto your shirt. Instead use cooler stuffs like set-wet, brylcream etc. such that others should never know that your head is lubricated. Also, keep close watch on current trends in hairstyle. Try to avoid ghajini, dhoni, or TZP hairstyles as they appear too local and limit you from reaching international coolness standards.

–  Full sleeve formal shirts, formal trousers, kolhapuri chappals, paragon chappals, gandhi topi, dhoti etc. and other traditional wear are strictly prohibited.

– AXE Deodorant, Reebok shoes/t-shirts, low waist jeans, Ray-ban goggles are a MUST. Be careful while choosing these products. Even a slight trick of buying a ‘Reebook’ shoe will cost you the banishment from the cool community and you’ll have to remain an outcast – ever!

4. This point is very important for future of your cool life. Be very wise in choosing real-time friends. Prefer esp. those who are less cooler than you. Because they look up to you as their role model and it gives immense pleasure to you. It has an added advantage of you setting up new coolness rules among your group. Some of the missions of this group would be:

– Must ridicule and talk sarcastically about non-members esp. those ones, whose personalities are opposite to those advised in Point3.

– The main target of the group must be geeks and nerds. New guidelines must be set up to ensure that they never can enter your group.

– The group members’ ears must always be plugged by earphones of ipod(or atleast cell phone). They must be well versed with all forms of western music.

– All members must strictly believe in the dont-care attitude and must talk carelessly about teachers, political leaders, Hollywood stars (talking about Bollywood would make you appear cheap) or any other person/incident of international fame.

Hope these guidelines help you reach higher zones of coolness.

The Return

Its been a long time, almost an year I suppose. I’d almost forgotten that I had a blog. In fact it took me a good amount of time to trace my user name and recover my password!

Well, I decided to return back to blogging, not because I have something to say, but because it is ‘cool’ to own a blog. Well I’ve a lot of things to be said about being ‘cool’. I’m planning to author the ‘Coolness guide’ which I’ll be posting soon for the social upliftment of lame souls. After a few faltering steps on technical writing I’ll now try out my inexperience in other dimensions as well. Keep looking.